We’ve negotiated a treaty
The wasps and I.
Yesterday we were thrown into
a sudden and terrifying conflict
when I opened the lid of the bird feeder
and laid bare their well crafted hive.
I dropped the entire construction
in the center of my porch
and ran
as several startled hornets
circled and memorized my face.
The remainder of the day
I gave them a wide birth
outdoors.
Sentinels warned me from
their safety perimeter
by hovering in that awkward
menacing way
directly in my vision
legs and abdomen dangling.
From the window
inside
I watched as one steadfast Mama
remained to warm the larvae.
Hours later she was joined by another
and close to nightfall most,
by my estimation,
returned to cover the newly
open and vulnerable nest.
This morning, they seem to have decided
I am no longer an immediate threat.
And I feel a similar guarded respect for them.
I was able to enjoy my coffee
on the glider
less than five feet away
and observe as they cleared
the shimmering dew
from their dark wings.
They remind me of Rilke’s
Dragon Princess.
Perhaps all the swarms
we unwittingly expose
do not wish to attack
or sting
but are waiting for us
‘Beautiful and brave”
to hold our anxiety
to let them live
and nurse their creations
and leave each of us
to our vigilant peace.
“I have wonderful news! … This is wonderful news you want to hear,…You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!”
Anybody who has read, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green probably recognized this quote. IMHO, The Fault in our Stars is an exquisite book everyone should read. Hopefully, before you see the movie. Although I love movies, books are always better. You get to dive deeper. You get to live inside the characters. Reading calls out a different form of attention than watching. And, attention is my theme for today.
Although I will not ask you to “Pay Attention.” I never liked that phrase. Probably because of the word pay. I don’t like to pay for things. Not because I am cheap, at least I hope not, but because of the obligation behind it.
So instead I will ask you, as a favor, to please, give me the kindness of your attention. For truly, there is no greater act of generosity you can do than offer your full attention to someone.
As I wrote at the beginning, you are going to live a long life, with great and terrible moments…”What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” The poet Mary Oliver, another great writer, asks this question in one of her poems. And she answers her own question in another poem. She says, “Instructions for living a life: pay attention, be astonished, tell about it.”
John Green would agree with Mary Oliver’s instructions for living a life. In a different passage from The Fault in Our Stars, he writes, “I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is improbably biased toward the consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed.” He tells us that the real heroes are the people who notice things.
The Buddhist philosophy is founded on mindfulness. The Dalai Lama describes mindfulness as kind, loving awareness or attention without judgement. It isn’t easy. Especially now when we have so many things to keep us distracted. Which is why we have to practice it. Practice mindfulness. Practice being attentive and letting go of judgement and our need to make something good or bad.
There are few absolutes in life, few things you can be certain about but I know this to be true in my heart, whatever you give your attention to will be transformed by it, will grow from it. And YOU will grow from it. If I asked you to become aware of your breathing…without asking you to change it, just by bringing your awareness to the breath, it will deepen. The same can be said of how you sit, or how you listen, or look…once you give your attention to that moment you will see that you actually need to try harder NOT to make it better. This is the heart of meditation. Mary Oliver again says, “I do not know how to pray, I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass, how to stroll through the fields.”
So whatever you want to do with your one wild and precious life, whatever that is, it will be richer if you give it, or practicing giving it, your full attention.
St. Thomas said, “The reward for patience… is more patience.” The same is true of attention. The more you practice attention, shifting your awareness, the more you are able to practice it. And how do you do that? Set the goal or intention each day that you will give attention to some area of your life. Something small. Something near you. Maybe you will give attention to how you breathe, or what makes you laugh, or the words you say, or perhaps you will do your best to look at the sky and feel the sun on your face.
Because life is full of both great and terrible moments, there will be many times in your life practicing attention will demand courage. But, I still believe, with all the love in my heart, that the mind is powerful and the focal point of our thoughts can be transformed. In the same way energy from the sun transforms life, or the pull of the moon affects the tides, consciousness radiates.
You will find the more you practice attention, the more you appreciate what is given you, now, in this moment. All that you need is here. Truly, what better time to observe the universe’s elegance than right now?
The Gospel of St Thomas tells us Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is spread on the Earth but men do not see it. Be the hero or heroine of your own life. See the kingdom of heaven spread before you. Notice the beauty and elegance of the universe in the moments you are given, offer your attention to your, “One wild and precious life.”
This may sound weird but all my life I have regularly given myself assignments. OK. Maybe not so weird for someone who ended up becoming a teacher but when I say assignments, I am not talking about the traditional kind. I’ve assigned myself tasks like, get to know every tree in my neighborhood. What are their names? What have they witnessed? Who lives in them? What about them is edible? This has been an ongoing assignment from the age of seven actually.
Vivian and Ray Kell center. Sandwiched by Mary and Jerry Black
Another mission I gave myself was to make friends with an elder in my community. I chose Ray Kell and by proxy his wife Vivian. Ray is 91 years old now. Vivian is 90. I have called them my friends since they were in their early 70’s. Ray and Vivian have ten children, 33 grandchildren, 17 great grandchildren and counting. Ray is a veteran of World War 2. He and Vivian are activists for peace, justice, and equality. He plays the piano and sings at least an hour every day. Preferably more. Sometimes you have to beg him to stop. He still plays 18 holes of golf and carries his own clubs. When he was 84, Ray raced me up five flights of stairs and beat me. The Kell’s vegetable garden is spectacular and feeds many in their neighborhood. They work every Monday from 6:00AM until 1:00PM in the Manna Meal Soup kitchen. Every year for the past 20, he and Vivian pack up their car and travel the country for six weeks visiting all their kids and grand kids while camping. In a tent! On Ray’s 90th birthday he challenged himself to do a freestanding headstand and hold it. He achieved his goal in the middle of his daughter’s backyard while his grandson played a three minute waltz on the violin. I guess you could say Ray also gives himself assignments. He certainly lives a life of meaning, purpose, and intention and I aspire to be more like him.
Which might be why I regularly assign myself reading. Two Summers ago, I read How to Be an Explorer of the World by Keri Smith. And guess what?! The book is filled with interesting assignments, only she calls them explorations. I highly recommend it. The author challenges you to collect tiny things and make a mini museum in an Altoids tin. She suggests making sculptures out of ten things you find in a drawer. There are 59 different explorations. Most of them involve field work. Keri Smith offers 5 field work tips. I would like to add a sixth one based on personal experience and follow it up with ten explorations, not in the book, that I found made my life, and occasionally the lives of those around me, better.
Keri Smith’s Field Work Tips:
Never leave home without a notebook and pen.
When practicing deep looking or deep listening, it is best to work alone.
Respect the community in which you explore. This applies to all aspects of nature, human or otherwise and also includes property, public or private
If you find yourself being questioned as to the reasons for your activities, the phrase, “I’m conducting research” usually satisfies the nosiest interloper.
Expect the unexpected and you will find it.
My 6th Tip: You can never have too many pockets when exploring. Be sure to bring scissors, zip lock bags, looking glasses, a camera, a snack and water bottle, some tissue, and plan to stay out a long time.
10 of my own Recommended Explorations Not Listed in the Book:
1. Never pass up an opportunity to dip, dive, slide, swing, glide, skip, twirl, rock, or dunk.
2. Look for the color purple everywhere you go. Read The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Pay Attention to what Shug says. “Shug a beautiful something.”
3. For an entire day, if anyone asks you a question, sing the answer. Make note of the questioner’s reaction.
4. Discover your favorite apple. They don’t all taste the same. Mine is a Fuji. Try one with some extra sharp Pinconning cheese. Seriously. Try that.
5. Listen only to the voice of love inside your head for a whole morning, or a whole day. Keep practicing until you can do it for longer and longer times. If the mean voice starts talking, sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” to yourself until it goes away.
6. Every once in awhile, make yourself an omelet.
7. Find an interesting elder in your community. Get to know them. Ask them questions. Listen to their stories.
8. Make your worst enemy a kindness salad…or a batch of yummy cookies. Again, make note of their reaction.
9. Dance in the grocery store.
10. For one moment each day, stand still where you are. Breathe into your belly. Be mindful that every day, every single day, even the heart crushing ones, we are surrounded by the mighty love of God.
Lucky Pilgrim 